In the ’70s, my parents had a vacation home in Calistoga decorated in bright orange fabrics, overflowing plates of gourds and Norman Rockwell reproductions for the family and business associates to enjoy. Then, when they were no longer married, the vacation home became my dad’s home-home. Sure, the bright orange curtains faded a bit, and [...]
A few months ago I found myself in need of a ride from my parents’ house in San Francisco to the airport to catch a flight home. I was wearing my Easter dress at the time my drivers pulled up, which I had alternated wearing with my black Puma sweat pants for two weeks – [...]
The great thing about gorging on hot dogs and potato salad for weeks on end, I’ve learned, is that you can undo any caloric damage in one clean sweep: A Cleanse. Personally, I don’t remember having this option after gaining the freshman fifteen or the post-pregnancy thigh bags. Nope, I resorted to plain ol’ diet [...]
What if you don’t want another door to open after one closes? Like when your kid’s fourth fish dies in one year and your husband promises him a turtle. I mean, can’t we just let bygones be bygones? It’s like those fridge magnets inscribed with inspirational sayings designed to make us feel better about whatever [...]
As I walked into an Internet café in the middle of Idaho about an hour ago – and I use the word “café” lightly – I was asked by a fellow patron how I got there. To the café, I assumed. How I ended up in Idaho would have been a much longer story and, [...]
Sugar Mama – Why is that people on vacation feel compelled to dress like they’re on a safari … cargo and pockets everywhere, even at the beach? Dressed to Kill Dressed, I usually hate to bog my readers down with scientific blather, but the behavior you’re referring to is actually a serious and growing condition, [...]
I’ll start by admitting that I have a cleaning lady, as well as most of the personality traits that go along with it: I’m lazy, messy, and have an inflated sense of self-worth. So imagine my frustration when I came home from work the other day to my very own kitchen oozing with chocolate and [...]
“Get ready for the hardest years of your life,” a friend told me when my husband and I started having kids. What? Being a parent is supposed to be blissful! Purposeful! Enriching! But as I round out a decade as a mother of two sons, I realize that she was absolutely right. Personal space, my [...]
Dear Sugar Mama – In light of the fact that most of us will be receiving our kids’ end-of-year report cards over the next few weeks, will you please weigh in on the topic of PAYING UNREASONABLE AMOUNTS OF MONEY FOR GOOD GRADES? Personally, I think it’s TOTALLY ridiculous – kids should be getting good [...]
Remember when Christina Aguillera went on “Ellen” a few years ago and told America about her and her new husband’s quirky little ritual they coined “Naked Sundays”? Apparently, at the end of every week, she and that darling Jason Bratman spent the entire day in the nude, cooking, cleaning and gardening. Well, the entire audience [...]
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