Grand Theft Diamonds

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* Used Stuff

Although we are considered a throwaway society, there are many things we buy or use that are used or “pre-owned.” Take for example cars, SUVs, motor homes, bikes, and motorcycles. Then there is furniture, lamps, fine art, and jewelry. How about smart phones, TVs and stereo equipment? Criminals such as burglars, thieves, and killers reuse their malevolent talents all the time. I was trying to think of an example that would really benefit society and came up with a savory solution. We need to be able to buy used lawyers. That way we could talk to a legal man or woman for $50 or $75 dollars an hour instead of $500 or $750. Those who are cash strapped or indigent could go to lawyers for real issues rather than the abusive and greedy clients hoping to hit a jackpot along with their carnivorous trial lawyers.

* Diamonds Are Not Forever

Speaking of used things and greed, how about those Angel trades? In last week’s column I wrote about my angst following the trading of young and restless Peter Bourjos for a used third baseman coming off a bad season. Just when I thought it was safe to pick up a newspaper or watch the 11 p.m. news and sports, it was learned that the Angels had traded power hitter Mark Trumbo (2012 All-Star) for two pitchers. Trumbo is an everyday player who could stay with the Arizona Diamond Backs for the rest of his career before he makes the Baseball Hall of Fame. If past history is any indication of the future, the two pitchers received by the Angels could be gone in one or two years. In obtaining pitcher Tyler Skaggs, our home team is getting back someone we already had traded for Dan Haren. As you probably know, Haren left two seasons ago after a miserable year. We’re getting Skaggs back but now have to throw in Trumbo, who in addition to being a slugger is a special guy and clubhouse leader of the Tim Salmon mode. All I’m left to say now is pretty please don’t trade Mike Trout for A-Rod.

* The Wonderful Sound of Music

The purists and the music critics were upset upon learning that singer and Idol winner Cary Underwood would play the role of Maria in “The Sound of Music” on NBC two weeks ago. I am hardly a music critic, but I enjoyed the entire production. How many actors can sing, play the guitar, dance and act for three hours straight on live television? The music was both especially and painfully nostalgic to many of Newport Beach’s silver citizens who were born about the time of the beginning of World War II. By the way, the critics missed the boat. More than 38 million people viewed the Sound of Music.

Michael Arnold Glueck of Newport Beach is self-described as “one of Orange County’s best (and funniest) writers.”

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