Short Schtick by Glueck

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* You Can Believe Us

Recently Hoag Hospital announced that it would no longer provide elective abortions. The reason given is the low number of these procedures being performed. Let’s see: After being in existence for approximately 44 years, Hoag Hospital (after only two months of affiliation with St. Joseph Hospital), suddenly calls off elective abortions. If you believe the excuse given by Hoag administration is the correct one, I have a large hospital, out-patient-clinic and full service maternity ward to sell you extra cheap.

 *  Death in The Big A

By now you probably realize how much I love baseball and commenting on my Angels. However, their play is so dreadful that I no longer can bear watching them. Your Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have become distressing and unwatchable.

 *  A Personal Political Trifecta

At that time of the spring when mint juleps and horseracing are on our minds, Obama has run poorly in his own Triple Crown. His first leg (Kentucky Derby) is the IRS targeting of conservative groups. The second leg (Preakness) is the secret seizing of AP phone records. The last leg (Belmont Stakes) is the new scrutiny over the Benghazi slaughter. His highness, Obama, has created his own personal and losing Trifecta!

 * “True Shopping”

* My sister-in-law (SIL) loves to go shopping. To her shopping is a sport. Often we all tag along with her and have lunch or do fun things together at the Mall. Now my SIL has her own special definition of “shopping.”  To be considered shopping, you have to buy something. If you don’t buy something, even if you peruse the same stores, it is not considered shopping by her. In addition, true shopping requires premeditation, or in legal terms “serious intent.”

 * Doggie Day Care

Friends who own dogs tell me that Doggie Day Care (DDC) now costs $20.00 a day.  Not to fret though. The room charge includes a report card and also lets you know if your dog did what comes naturally. If a dog misbehaves and get an F in “Plays well with other dogs,” this news is passed on to the Head Dog at home who deals with the issue.

 * That is Not My Dog

The same SIL noted above went to pick up her dog at DDC. She told the youth in charge the breed and name of her dog. The dog was brought out and given to her. In spite of the matching breed with exactly the same name this was “not my dog.” A quick check of the cages revealed an identical dog of the same breed and name. “Now this is my dog,” exclaimed my SIL. In the future I suggest that all dogs be checked into DDC with a first and last name.

 * Say it Again Sam

In closing I still think the Angels need a new manager!


Michael Arnold Glueck, M.D., Newport Beach, is an ornery curmudgeon who can be found at [email protected].


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