Now ‘Beast’ Is a Beauty

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“Mom, you are such a beast,” Payton said.

“Thank you,” I beamed.

Because I am becoming proficient in teenager slang, I knew my 14-year-old had just paid me the ultimate compliment.

I’ve been called a beast after finding Payton’s misplaced cell phone, or because I made a great strawberry-banana smoothie. His friend was a beast when he scored three goals during a lacrosse game.

Like the word cool, it can similarly be used to describe people or objects. For example, “That roller coaster is so beast.”

I know that if someone says that a car is sick, it doesn’t need to go to the mechanic. In fact, quite the opposite is true. A sick car, sick song, or sick party, are all things to be revered.

Let’s see how well you have been paying attention. Try to translate this sentence: “A beast mom knows how to make sick cupcakes.”

Taken literally, what a peculiar image that would conjure up. It actually means, “A wonderful mom knows how to make delicious cupcakes.”

This is nothing new. Each generation of teenagers has its own slang. In the 20s, you may have spent a few clams on some hooch. In the 50s, you may have called a daddy-o to go cruising. What was groovy in the 60s was outta sight in the 70s and bitchin’ in the 80s.

When Payton’s facebook status says, “epic lax sesh,” What he is really saying is, “I had an excellent lacrosse practice session today.”

If something is messed up or broken, it is jacked. For example, if your locker will not open, it is jacked. A few months ago we had to replace my dishwasher because it was permanently jacked.

Whacked, on the other hand refers to a person who is not quite right upstairs.

And stacked refers to a woman who has a large chest.

It is one thing to understand teens’ words, it is another thing to try to use them. While I am happy I can follow a conversation between my son and his friends, I’ve learned I need to “be chill” about immersing myself in their language.

I’ve had a few epic fails. If I started to try to speak the way they do, they would think I was whacked.

All the experts say open communication with your teenager is extremely important. It is the key to having a close relationship.

Be flexible, though. Language changes with the times. The word from the bird is that things are not always what they seem. Bad can mean good and, more recently, a nerd is another word for billionaire.


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