“I’ve learned that happiness comes from inside, whether you’re in a big beautiful house or a dumpy old room, ” John Gray said. “If you are happy inside, you don’t seek to control somebody else. Every problem in relationships comes back to how we seek to control others.”
Gray, best known for his bestselling book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,” spoke to almost 300 people at the Center for Spiritual Living, Newport-Mesa last Sunday.
He educated and entertained the audience with suggestions for understanding and improving relationships between men and women, both at home and in the workplace. He also shared insights from his latest book, “Work with Me: The 8 Blind Spots Between Men and Women in Business,” which he co-authored with Barbara Annis, a global expert on gender intelligence.
“One of the themes of the book is gender intelligence,” Gray explained. “It’s sort of a take off on emotional intelligence, which we realize is more important to success in this world than IQ.”
Gray said that gender intelligence comes from understanding the biological and brain differences between men and women.
“Work With Me” explains the biological and social influences that cause men and women to think and act as they do as well as offering specific solutions to help each sex understand how the other solves problems, makes decisions, resolves conflict and deals with stress.
“Men need to appreciate the strengths that women have, and women need to appreciate the strengths that men have,” Gray said. “Men and women are different and we need to see that as positive; it’s supposed to be that way. At a spiritual level, we are all the same, but we need to face our differences and appreciate them. Gender equality is not the answer. Men trying to behave more like women and women trying to act more like men has led to miscommunication and misunderstandings.”
“What does our society know about men anymore?” Gray asked. “It’s so backwards, it’s absurd. We need men balanced in their masculinity. My message is that if we have good communication, if men and women feel loved and appreciated, we can have great marriages. There’s so much potential in couples, we just need to learn what to do.”
Gray is a certified family therapist, a member of the American Counseling Association and the International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors. His 17 books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages. “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” was published in 1992 and has sold more than 7 million copies.
“John assists men and women in understanding, appreciating and valuing their differences and in creating lives filled with happiness, well-being and insight,” said Rev. James Turell, minister at the Center for Spiritual Living, Newport Mesa.
“My husband and I did an event for singles with John about ten years ago,” Patty Turell explained. “We are really familiar with his work, and we use a lot of his practices and advice; it works well in our relationship and in other couples. After reading his book, we thought it would really apply and help a lot of people in their own relationships and in their businesses too. One of the great things John talks about in the book is how men and women feel appreciated.”
“There are so many wonderful things about John,” Patty continued. “He is one of the leading experts on relationships, and the perfect speaker for this type of event. He’s really hard to come by, but we were fortunate that he agreed to come.”
For further information, visit ocspiritualcenter.com.
Cindy can be reached at [email protected]