Sports, Sports and More Sports

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* Angels in the Dugout

It is hard to believe Angel spring training is just around the corner. This is the time when we find out which newly acquired pitchers forgot how to pitch and which new position players and designated hitters don’t remember how to hit.

* The Pipes

In past races Southern Californian Shaun White had little competition in winning the snowboarding events at the Olympics. However, with the passage of time the (half) pipeline became filled. White came in fourth.

* The Upper Class Elite

At the local Newport Beach coffee shops, one of the issues being hotly debated was President Obama’s absence from the Olympics. His foes argued that he has plenty of time to come to Newport Beach and our neighbor, Beverly Hills, for Democratic fundraisers but somehow is too busy to go to Russia. When he visits Newport Beach he only meets with the elite of the elite upper one percent. Guess there aren’t any fundraisers for Obama in Russia.

* The Rings

President Putin of Russia got even with Obama for not showing up at the opening ceremony. He secretly turned off the fifth (or red) Olympic ring.

* Olympic Tights

At the end of week one a controversy arose over the American speed skaters, their slow starts and sub-par performances. Some attributed this to their new Under Armour high-tech aerospace inspired suits. American skaters now have a unique explanation and excuse: “The underwear made me do it.”

* Separated at Birth

American skater Jason Brown finished ninth in Men’s Figure Skating but with a notable performance. His lovely red haired blue eyed coach looks just like Amy Adams. Can’t fool me. That girl can be seen everywhere.

Michael Arnold Glueck of Newport Beach is a former speedwriter for the Olympic games.

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